I'm checking in right now simply because I'm proud of not beating myself up. I've had to adjust my study plan a few times and I've been hard n myself because of it, but last night it finally clicked for me that adjusting is not the same thing as quitting. One of my sister-mentors/accountability partner passed on something to me that somebody else told her: I wouldn't have started this process if I didn't think I could do it. And she's right. One thing I've really been working on throughout this process is encouraging myself. Because I have a natural tendency to be extremely self-critical, encouraging myself instead of beating myself up is hard, but I can see that I'm growing.
Let's take today for example. To get an idea of where I am in my studying I took two section tests. I knew taking a full-length would be a lot, so I decided to do two sections today and two sections either tomorrow or Monday. One thing I've noticed is I have to rebuild my stamina with taking this test. I hate the CARS section of the test because it's always where I get the most distracted. I did this section second and I found myself getting tired, hungry, and ready to just end the test and not care about what my score is. With both of the tests I took today, I was able to identify some areas of improvement as I was taking the tests, and these were confirmed when I looked at my score breakdown during my test review. Even though my scores weren't as high as I had hoped they would be, I'm still proud of the fact that I increased my scores in both areas. A little progress is STILL progress. Celebrate the small victories. Be sure to assess where you are and adjust for where you're trying to be.
The point of this check-in is to encourage y'all as well as myself. Even though you have your goal score in mind and these schools have their respective MCAT stats, make sure the only person you compare yourself to is you from the day before. The only test results that matter for you are yours. The only application packet you're going to see is yours. This entire process is yours. You are working for your seat in somebody's med school, so do your best to not compare yourself to these other people. Stay in your lane and flourish.
See y'all next time.
Dr. Black Barbie
The purpose of this portion of the website is to let you inside my journey to Dr. Black Barbie. I don't write everything as it's happening, but once it's processed, it'll be here.