thirty.

original post date - march 17, 2020


#Coronacation – A Perspective Shift Here Lies My Senior Year…

Before I get to the meat of this post, I need to vent. This COVID-19 pandemic is really messing with plans I had for my senior year. This that I’ve been looking forward to for months, and other things for years, have been postponed indefinitely or canceled and my feelings are hurt about it. I don’t even know whether I should proceed with ordering the rest of the things I wanted for grad pics because there’s a good chance I may not be going back to 400 Mag anytime soon. I’ve been waiting on these types of things FOR YEARS. Trips, events, etc. All snatched up and/or paused because Miss Rona just had to invite herself to the US can’t be contained for real. She has my anxiety way up. In all honesty, I’m also very sad on top of the anxiety I already have about not knowing what is going to happen or when. It’s a lot to try to deal with and accept. I’m glued to my email and news apps for updates, while also trying to distance myself from social media. The memes and tweets about colleges and the Class of 2020 can be funny from time to time, but it doesn’t take long for it to make me sad or feel like too much. At this point, I’m just praying my graduation doesn’t get cancelled like Howard University’s – it would hurt too much and I wouldn’t know how to take it. Relax. Relate. Release. First and foremost, this mandated coronacation is not the business. We all know this. But it doesn’t have to be all bad. I had a lot of time to think yesterday while I was driving, and I decided to shift my perspective on this whole situation. Yes, this is a very anxiety-inducing time for many (myself included), but with the help of some dear friends I’ve just been telling myself to control what I can control. So that’s what I’ve been doing. God’s got the rest. Instead of canceling 2020 like some of y’all are doing, I am going to find positive uses for this time. I’m a believer of the power of words and thoughts, so I’m challenging myself to change my thoughts during this time. Manifestation is real. I’ve seen proof of its effects in other people’s lives and in my own – positively and negatively. The choice of how I want my life and my perspective to look is up to me. My words have power and so do my thoughts, so it’s my responsibility to wield that power in my favor. I’m choosing to use coronacation as a time to reflect, regroup, restart, and refresh my mental. I’ve been working on my list, and here’s where I am with what I’m planning to accomplish during this time.

  • Checking myself. At the end of this month, the first quarter of 2020 will be over. This is a great time to check back in with the goals set at the beginning of the year, do a true evaluation of where you are, and figure out what adjustments need to be made moving forward through the remaining nine months of the year. I know I still have an enormous amount of work to do on myself in a wide range of areas, so I need to take advantage of this time without distractions from school and other things to assess myself. If I’m going to just be home, I need to dedicate some uninterrupted (or as close to uninterrupted as I can get in my house) time to me. I’m also still learning the way to properly rest, and this is a fine time to do it.

  • Putting my nose (and ears) in some books. Another thing I plan to do is catch up on my reading list. I have several books that I now have time to read and so far, I’m 1.5 books in. They’re audiobooks, but they still count. (If y’all want an update on my list, let me know). People ask for book recommendations a lot, so if I can be of assistance, I’d love to.

  • Decluttering. I can’t physically declutter my room or closet right now since I’m not on campus, but you know what I can declutter? My phone. I know all 7,446 pictures and videos in my phone don’t have value to me and I need to go through them. Same thing goes for my messages. It is March 17, 2020 and I had message threads that haven’t been active since February 11, 2018. Now, I am big on having my receipts in case people try me, but I’ll cross those threads when I get to them. Related to my messages, I need to clean out my contacts. I know that I don’t speak to, associate with, or interact on ANY LEVEL with many people in my contact list. I used to be big on keeping people’s numbers in my phone in case I ever needed them, but I haven’t seen or talked to a good bit of these people in years. If I really need to get in touch with them in the future, I’ll find a way. The way I see it, my phone is lowkey an extension of me and if I don’t want people taking up space in my mind, I don’t need to be allowing them to take up space in my phone.

  • Website updates. Even though I wouldn’t really consider myself an “influencer” per say, I’m continuously thinking of ways to update and expand my brand. I’ve fallen off the wagon with the site this entire school year, so I just plan to update and rearrange some things to help me take the site in the direction I wanna go. I’ve been having a lot of ideas, so now that I finally have time to figure out the best way to execute, I’m happy.

I hope that all of you stay safe and informed during this chaotic time in all of our lives. This is confusing for a lot us with everything that is going on, but we need to do our best to focus on the facts and our individual responsibility in containment of what’s going on. Wash your hands. Practice social distancing, which for me will also include social media distancing. Keep yourself informed of updates from credible sources. Hope for the best. We don’t know how long this will last, but it won’t last forever. We don’t know what all the consequences will be, but I can tell you that this period of self-isolating, cancellations, and postponements will remain in effect even longer if people don’t listen to the professionals. P.S. To all those people saying that COVID-19 is how the world is ending and telling people to get right with God because Jesus is coming back. Have a seat. First of all, stop playing on people’s fear to try to get them to build authentic relationships with whoever they believe the Higher Power to be. Stop trying to force people’s faith. It’s not right. Secondly, if you’re a Christian and you’re doing all this, I know you don’t read your Bible. It clearly says no man knows the day or the hour that our Savior is coming back (see around Matthew 24:36 or Mark 13:32-33 if you wanna fact check me), so what do you think makes you special? I’m waiting… Exactly. So stop it. I know there are signs of different things, but the very fact that people are saying this is gonna be the end of the world is all the evidence that I need of it not being over just yet. That’s really all I have to say. I just hope all of you stay safe and find a way to shift your perspective on coronacation into something that’s positive. If you’re struggling during this time, know that you aren’t alone, and your feelings are valid. Sit in your feelings. Feel your feelings. Process your feelings. Think of good and positive things you can do during this time if it helps. You’re all in my prayers. Until next time, live life, be great, and flourish. Much love, brena

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