original post date - november 18, 2018
#HBDToMe - 21 Lessons for 21 Years
I'm finally legal legal! On my birthday, I wanted to use this post to share 21 lessons I've learned during my 21 trips around the sun.
ONE TIME FOR THE BIRTHDAY CHICK.
TWO TIMES FOR THE BIRTHDAY CHICK.
THREE TIMES FOR THE BIRTHDAY CHICK.
F--- IT UP IF IT'S YA BIRTHDAY BIH!!!!!
My 21st birthday is officially over and I've been hype all week. I was determined to make this a great week. As you know if you've read my last few posts, I've been in a dark place for quite some time and I really need things to get better. I'm not as low as I was about two weeks ago, but I'm still taking it one day at a time and doing my best. For this post, I decided I wanted to compile 21 things I've learned over my 21 years of life. There isn't really any particular ranking or order of importance, I was just writing them down as they came to mind. Some of the things are more serious, some are more light-hearted, some will be a straightforward sentence, and I'll discuss some with a little more depth than others. There may be some overlap between some of them, but different areas of life overlap so it is what it is. Here we go.
1) My name is my name and it's okay to correct people when they say or spell it incorrectly. My mama named be Sebrena. Not Sabrina. Not Sabrena. Not Sebrina. Get it right now because this name is gonna be attached to big things one day.
2) No is a complete sentence. This has been one of the things I’ve learned recently. It's been hard to work on getting out of my people-pleasing ways. I'm learning it is okay to say no without feeling the need to explain myself or justify my decision.
3) I cannot function at my best without some type of order or function. Order is important for things to flow correctly. Organization is key. I might take it a little far sometimes, but I've noticed in myself and others that things are easier when organization is present. To-do lists, color-coding, planners, notebooks. I love all that.
4) College is NOT like it is on TV. Life hits and it hits hard. It's a great experience but it's definitely worth all of the bs it comes with. Like in life, things don't go as planned. It's a lot about taking an L and bouncing back.
5) Your relationship with your parents changes when you go to school. Adjusting was difficult at first, but I feel like my parents are getting more used to me being an actual adult now. Or at least close to one.
6) It is okay and RIGHT to make myself a priority. Doing that doesn’t make me selfish or a bad person.
7) I suck at relaxing. I do too much and don’t know how to turn my brain off.
8) I’m way harder on myself than I should be. See my last blog (#MirrorMissy) for a deeper explanation.
9) They always come back. This has been a more recent realization, even though I’ve been told this before. Guys will always come back when they finally see what they had in front of them. Every single time.
10) Other people’s inability to see my worth doesn’t diminish it. This one is a toughie. Even though I know this, it definitely doesn’t always feel like the truth.
11) Black Twitter is undefeated. IYKYK.
12) Money always seems to go faster than it comes. I’m still trying to get the right balance of letting myself spend my own money, but it’s a very real struggle for me.
13) Mental health is just as important as physical health. I have to get better with taking care of mine and I want to impact the Black community and how we see it.
14) Maintaining confidence is WORK. It goes up and down like stock prices. Every day isn’t a good one. It’s a muscle I need to work on flexin.
15) My confidence does hold me back from doing some things I’d like to do, and it’s hard to get over that. I’m working on it tho.
16) I don’t give myself enough credit. I’m doing the damn thing (or at least trying) and sometimes it’s very hard to see and reward myself for it.
17) I love Beyoncé more than I thought I did. At/after the concert, I realized how much her music helps me boost my confidence and all-around mood, and I’m grateful.
18) Social media can be more dangerous than I thought. Seeking to be boosted by likes, comments, reposts, and all that isn’t worth the negative effects it has on my self-esteem. Not comparing myself really is daily struggle.
19) Bread is love and bread is life. If you know me, you know I LOVE bread. Chances are if there’s bread at a restaurant, I’m gonna eat it and enjoy it.
20) People talk. If you do something good, people are gonna talk. If you do something bad, people are gonna talk. Moral of the story: do you and stop swerving. If nothing else stands at the end of the day, the truth will.
21) I’m worth it. Even though I might not always feel it or feel like I’m enough, I am. I’m good enough and deserve everything I’m working for, if not more. Imposter syndrome is real, but I can’t let it beat me. I have a destiny. I have a purpose. I am destined to be great one day and I will rightfully get there.
I feel like this post has been long so I’m just gonna go ahead and wrap it up. This definitely isn’t everything I’ve learned. There are some things I have already talked about in other posts and some things I plan to talk about in their future. These are just the things that have been on my mind heavy lately. I’m grateful for the time that I’ve lived so far, the friends and family that have helped me along the way, and the growth I’ve seen in myself over the last year. I pray year 21 is good to me.
Live life. Be great. Flourish.