#TickTock - The Waiting Game
Hey y'all, I know it's been a minute since I last posted, but I'm back. I hope your 2019 is off to a great start, and if it's not, we still have 11 months and some change to go. So keep your head up. This isn't the post I planned on putting up next, but I'm posting this for 2 reasons: 1) my original post idea is getting delayed because of something on my part, and 2) this is where my head is and I feel like talking about it. Today we're gonna talk about waiting.
Let's pause for a second. If y'all have been riding with me from the beginning, then you know my very first post to this website was about waiting. That post was specifically about sex and relationships, which I still part of my waiting game, but that’s not what we're talking about today. Today, I wanna talk about waiting in life in general.
Now this isn't a Christian or faith-based blog website as a whole, but I am a Christian and faith-based person, and that’s where this is coming from. I've talked about God and my faith in other posts, so that shouldn't be a surprise to you, but unlike my other posts, this one is going to be primarily spiritual. At the beginning of this year I decided to recommit myself to my faith. I didn't really stray away from God or "backslide" as some of the older Christians say, but I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain. When it comes to my devotions, I usually do plans in the YouVersion Bible App, but this time I looked up a few devotional books and I wasn't really sure where I wanted to start, so I prayed about it. A day or two later, I remembered a plan in the Bible App that I saw Gia Peppers (one of my faves and 1/5 of Black Girl Podcast) talking about on IG a few months ago. It was called "Mercy Like Morning" and it's a 7-day devotional. So back to the Bible App I went.
I decided to do this plan because waiting is an area of my life where I have real struggle. The things in life that I want the most and work the hardest for are things I don't have any control over. Because I don't really have control over these things and I have an issue with feeling like I need control in order to function at my best, my season of waiting is hard. Even at my best, this wait still hurts. I get really discouraged sometimes and it feels like it'll never end. I get tired of waiting and feeling like I'm destined to be Sideline Shawty. Encouraging myself seems like more work than reward sometimes. I still pray and go to church, and sow seeds and all of that, but the waiting hasn't ended, so I realized I needed to change how I saw my wait if I was going to get any better. That meant I had to start reading and finding other things (in this case, devotionals) to help point me in the right direction.
The "Mercy Like Morning: Discovering the Truth in Seasons of Waiting" plan is adapted from a book of the same name written by Jane Johnson, and the objective of the plan is to remind the reader of God's mercies and faithfulness, even during our seasons of waiting. I don’t know about y'all, but in my seasons of waiting, sometimes I really do feel like God has forgotten me. At times I feel alone, desperate, and like the wait will never end. It doesn’t help that I watch it end for others in my life, and at times I wonder if God even hears me or sees my tears. Long story short - He does. This plan reminded me that just like every morning is new, so are His mercies. Just like the sun is steady and always present, so is His faithfulness. It opened my eyes to help me changed the way I view my waiting season. Instead of viewing it as a punishment, I'm working on looking at it as a time of preparation for something greater. I won't spoil it, but two of the big things this plan opened my eyes to were: 1) I need to rest while I wait. To me, this meant doing my best to keep my thoughts at ease and just trust God because He knows what He's doing, and 2) I need to cling to His promises instead of clinging to my own feelings. God has been faithful to billions of people since the beginning of time, and He's not gonna be any different with me. My feelings change, but His faithfulness never does. After I did this plan, I definitely felt encouraged and like I was taking steps in the right direction. I do plan on getting the full book soon, so I hope it blesses me just like the 7-day plan did.
The plan I'm doing now is called "Wait is a Four-Letter Word" and it's based off of a book I own and have already read. The name of the book is "When God Says Wait: Navigating Life's Detours and Delays Without Losing Your Faith, Your Friends, or Your Mind" by Elizabeth Laing Thompson. The subtitle is quite long, but the book really is great. It goes through the Bible and highlights specific people (mostly women) and different things they waited to receive from God. Each person has their own chapter, and each chapter has its own overarching lesson. I really liked it and I plan to reread it after I finish this plan. Like the previous plan I talked about, this one is also about waiting and it uses different stories and scriptures to convey different lessons. It's also a 7-day plan, so I'm set to finish this one tomorrow. Lemme just say this: God's timing is impeccable. I do my devotions in the morning so I can get my head in the right place before I start my day, and every day of this plan has been centered on something different that I needed to get me through each day of this week. I also don't want to spoil this plan for anybody, so I'll just do two of my major takeaways from this plan too. 1) I may not be able to control how long my waiting season is, but I can control 2 things: how I wait and who I become while I'm waiting. Whew chile, that's A WORD. This was another reminder that I need to be conscious of my attitude while I'm waiting and focus on becoming the type of woman I want to become so that I can properly handle the things I waiting for. 2) Instead of putting my life on pause during my waiting seasons, I need to repurpose that time. I should find other things that are important to me and work toward being selfless and giving to others in a way that helps build them up as well. This plan isn't exactly like the book in terms of depth and the different journal prompts the book has for each chapter, but it is a good place to start if you want to get a feel for how the book may be without spending the money initially.
I didn't mention this earlier, but the YouVersion Bible App and all of its plans are free. They have a lot of different subjects to choose from if waiting isn't your specific area of interest right now. I've done some about faith, confidence, and other subject matters too, but these waiting plans I've been doing have really hit the spot. I get my books from Amazon (if I want a physical copy) and iBooks (if I want to read from my iPad), and both of the books my plans were based on are available on both outlets, but the prices vary by a few dollars. I'll drop the links for the YouVersion Bible App and the two plans I talked about at the end of this post, but feel free to explore the app for yourself.
This post was a little longer than I intended it to be, but I really hope it encouraged you. My attitude about my own waiting season has been changing over the past couple weeks, but I know I still have a way to go. I chose not to go into specifics about what I'm waiting for in this post, but I hope y'all got the gist and I was able to help, even if it was just a little. I hope I said something or these plans will say something you can apply to your own lives and situations. If they do, let me know. If they don't and you have something else you've read or that you do to help get you through, let me know that too. I'm still learning and growing and I hope this is a year of growth for all of us. As always, I'm rooting for you and I want to see you win.
Live life. Be great. Flourish.